March 23, 2010

Dungeons and Crawl Spaces

Posted in stories tagged at 10:45 pm by littlesubmissions

Scrambled eggs on toast, coffee and orange juice. Morning radio, bad jokes. Bright morning sun reflecting off frosted blades of grass.


“You have anything planned tonight?” Stretched and leaned back, curves rolling under over sized t-shirt.

Toes curled up on chair legs, cold floor beneath. “Nope. Why?”

“I want you to put a trapdoor in the closet down to the crawl space.” Careful, precise words. Hard tone.

Questioning eyebrow. Careful voice. “OK. Why? The pipes shouldn’t freeze over anymore.”

Hard chuckle. “Because I want you to make two coverings for it. One that’s solid and looks like the floor, and one with metal bars just far enough apart to slide a finger through.” A leering smile, lust peering out from behind still mussed up bangs.

Playing along. Carefully. “OK. Did you have something in mind I should know about?”

Shrug. “It should lock.” Certainty he’d do it anyway, just wanted to be tortured with the words in his head. “So you can’t get open it and get out without a key. So I can set bowls of food and water just out of reach, and keep you down there cold, naked, and hungry while I take long baths and lay on the bed with the closet door open, reading under the covers, and occasionally looking over at your eyes watching me from between those bars in that filthy crawlspace, without enough room to stand up, trying to get comfortable on the hard dirt floor, cold and shivering.”

“There’s no floor, just dirt.” Sudden furrowed brow. “And there are spiders down there…”

Laugh. “Are you afraid of spiders?”

“I might be when I’m naked.” A shrug.

A snort and another leer. “Then you better be very useful and give me a reason not to put you down there, hadn’t you?”

Copyright Jerry Jones. Unauthorized use is prohibited.


  1. alberto said,

    Really nice. Somehow, I find the lingering “threat” of something that is going to happen very exciting, maybe more exciting than the description of the actual action.

    Good work 🙂

    • littlesubmissions said,

      I’m glad it works for you. I do it because I feel like setting something up then letting people run with it in their own heads is hotter than describing a complete scenario that might not agree with what they like to do… Plus, less words.

  2. Ranai said,

    and occasionally looking over at your eyes watching me from between those bars

    You got me with this. The image is in my head now. Face in shadows behind the bars, only the pleading eyes visible…

    Lovely. Thank you.

    • littlesubmissions said,

      Thank you, I’m never sure what will work for people and what won’t. Glad you liked.

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